Over the weekend, I spoke on this topic with CADET Academy led by Mrs Lola Aneke. The truth is 2020 has felt like an entire decade. A lot has happened and it has had varying degrees of stress on families. Families with special needs were not left out as they had to come up with unique methods to cope and some couldn’t because they didn’t know what to do. Traumatic experiences could be loss of a loved one, destruction of property, physical/sexual/emotional abuse, protests, ill health or disease etc. These things have a way of messing with someone’s mind and this is why we all need support. Here are a few tips to help you ensure the safety of your child with special needs and also tips to help you as a parent.

For the child, you must understand that children react differently to trauma. Therefore, know the general steps but use it in a way that suits your unique context.

Before traumatic event

I know that we like to think “God forbid” but it is important to plan ahead. Planning reduces confusion and helps to manage time well because everyone knows what to do. 

1. Educate the child on what to do in different situations. For example, in the case of molestation, teach about body boundaries, trusted adults, reporting 
2. Simplify what is taught to suit the age and developmental ability of child. Use pictures, songs, activities to teach
3. Review the plan of action with the child and entire family from time to time. It aids recall and boosts confidence 

During the traumatic event

Sometimes, the event could be over a period. E.g. aftermath of #EndSARS protests. 

1. Stay calm and reassure the child
2. Talk about it in a simple way
3. Get the thoughts of the child on the situation and make corrections where necessary
4. Reduce their exposure to horrifying pictures and videos

After the traumatic event 

This stage is really crucial because how you act can make or mar your relationship with the child.

1. Be present and reassure them 
2. Allow them to express their feelings
3. For children who love routines, find a way to maintain a semblance of normalcy 

For parents

Remember that you are an important part of the equation here. You cannot give what you do not have. So, you must ensure you are also getting the support you need to function optimally. Therefore:

1. Get the help and support you need from friends, support groups or professionals 
2. Face the situation head-on as you may not be able to run away from it
3. Remember, there are other members of the family, ensure they are also supported 
4. Identify your best relaxation method and use frequently for your sanity e.g. deep breaths, music, comedy etc. 

These are just a few guidelines to help. To get practical examples for each tip, check out the recording of my session here CADET Academy TV on YouTube. 

Intentionally grooming a safety conscious generation